Sartre – The Revolutionaries

It’s the well behaved children … that make the most formidable revolutionaries .
They don’t say a word , they don’t hide under the table ,they eat only one piece of chocolate at a time .
 But later on they make society pay dearly .
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Meet The Parents – Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro)

“I have nipples , Greg . Could you milk me ?”
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Moliere – Writing

Writing is like prostitution . First you do it for love , and then for a few close friends , and then for money .
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Carlos Mencia – The Early Days

Influence

Clothes make the man . Naked people have little or no influence on society .
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Guys Vs. Gals

What man say about matrimony :
Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free .
What women say of marriage :
Why buy the whole pig just to get a little sausage .
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George Carlin – Buyers Beware

  Whoever coined the term “Buyers Beware” , was probably bleeding from the asshole .
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Women protesting

Friendship

  Friendship is like peeing on yourself :everyone can see it , but only you get the warm feeling that it brings .
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Nietzche – Plaything

The true man wants two things : danger and play . For that reason he wants woman , as the most dangerous plaything .
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Bill Maher on Feminism

I am coming

There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. [...]

Baudelaire – The Monsters Of My Fancy

I consider it useless and tedious to represent what exists , because nothing that exists satisfies me . Nature is ugly , and I prefer the monsters of my fancy to what is positively trivial .
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Dave Chapelle – Beating The Record

Scots

- Why do Scots watch porn movies backwards ?
-Because they like  happy endings , when the prostitute gives the money back to the client .
 
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Omar Khayyam

Ah Love! could thou and I with Fate conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
     Would not we shatter it to bits — and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart’s Desire!
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Dwarfs

- Why dwarfs laugh while they play  soccer?
- Because the grass tickles their balls!
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Life Is All About Ass

Robert Louis Stevenson – Fifteen Men on the Dead Man’s Chest

Fifteen men on the Dead Man’s Chest
Yo – ho – ho , and a bottle of rum!
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo – ho – ho ,and a bottle of rum ! 
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Heat -Al Pacino Quote

Alan Marciano : Why’d get mixed up with that bitch?
Vincent Hana : ‘Cause she’s got a great ass . And you got your head … all the way up it . Ferocious aren’t I ? When i think of asses … a woman’s ass … something comes out of me .
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Austin Powers :International Man of Mystery

DR. EVIL: Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.

Priceless

George Carlin – Driver license

  Whar hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bold man ?
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Ernest Hemingway – Sleep

I love sleep . My life has the tendency to fall apart when i’m awake , you know .
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Moliere – The Misanthrope

Betrayed and wronged in everything ,
I’ll flee this bitter world where vice is king ,
And seek some spot unpeopled and apart
Where I’ll be free to have an honest heart .
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FBI

Funny Videos

Pulp Fiction – Jules

   There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he [...]

Laugh

You laugh because I’m different …
I laugh ’cause I just farted !
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Charles Baudelaire – Genius

Genius is no more than childhood recaptured at will , childhood equipped now with man’s physical means to express itself ,and with the analitical mind that enables it to bring order into the sum of experience , involuntary amassed .
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Borat – The only thing …

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